To Be or Not To Be... Pregnant, that is!

Hey there, folks.

So, as the title of this post indicates, I MAY be pregnant! (little woo hoo!)

If you ask me to go by my womanly intuition (or a new mothers instinct?), pregnancy symptoms and timing, I say definitely yes. I'll go into the details of that below.

If you go by those pesky little tests, maybe not.

Thing is, I am almost 3 weeks late, but my body has not produced enough hcg yet to get a positive pregnancy test.

There are many possible reasons for this:

• One of them is that I might not be pregnant. I don't love that reason, but it is still a possibility. Though I would like to know why I'm not having a period. . .
  
• Another reason could be that it's still too soon to tell if I am pregnant or not.
• And the last reason for the low hcg could be that my system is the same as my mothers was during her pregnancies, and I am pregnant but not producing enough hcg to register positive yet.
  

My mother did not test positive until she was more than 2 months pregnant. And according to my research this is not all that uncommon! Not only have I found numerous stories online of women in this same boat, but even when I was at the hospital taking the test, the lab tech told me that her daughter did not test positive during either of her pregnancies, and her doctor did not believe she was pregnant until she was showing, at almost 4 months along!

There are many symptoms I am having that lead me to believe I am actually pregnant, and they are increasing by the day. The first symptoms were an insatiable hunger (particularly for Frosted Shredded Mini-Wheats--I go thru a box every couple days!), extreme exhaustion and funny twinges behind my belly button. I threw up while out to dinner the first week (barely made it out the door to the bushes... hmmm). My headaches have changed and are worse at times, like they often are at certain times of the month. Most recently I have been feeling queasy in the mornings and evenings, am getting heartburn at bedtime, and my chest is tender, swollen and covered in blue veins.

If I was the first person in my family to not test positive when pregnant, I would be more hesitant to believe that was the explanation. If I had not heard from the lady at the lab that her daughter tested negative into her 4th month, I would be more hesitant. If we were not trying to conceive and I did not have increasing symptoms of pregnancy, and really just feel different, I would be more careful to not get my hopes up at all.

But because of all those reasons above, I do feel that the most likely explanation is that I really, truly AM pregnant, even though the tests have not yet confirmed it.

I know what you are thinking. I need to be careful, need to not put all my eggs in that basket (pun intended). Nothing is for sure yet. Don't let myself get too carried away until we know.

Just about all of the people I have told about my current situation have reminded me that I don't know for sure yet.

As if I don't KNOW that.
As if I don't think about that possibility every single day.
As if I am not praying every hour that God will keep me from being completely crushed if I'm not actually pregnant.

Because the truth it, though we have only been trying for a couple months, I really really WANT to be pregnant! This is something I have wanted for years, and now that we have finally decided to try to conceive, I don't want to have to wait any more!

I know that no matter what the odds are or are not, I will be sad if this turns out to be some sort of flukey hormonal thing. Especially now that I know how it might feel to actually be pregnant! Now that I am watching my body for any changes, learning what stage a baby is at during each month of pregnancy. All of those things make me want to be pregnant more than ever!

So. That is my story.

As of the end of this week, if I am indeed pregnant, I will be 7 weeks along. At which point the baby will be able to be seen on an ultrasound, and the heartbeat can also be heard.

Because what I have read says that ultrasounds are much more indicative of pregnancy than blood tests, if I continue to have symptoms and don't start my period, I have decided just to skip the next blood test and wait for an ultrasound in order to know for sure. I'm hoping and praying my doctor will see the wisdom in this, and order and ultrasound sooner than later.

Because, really and truly, I just want to know! Is that too much to ask?!